Expectant.

Where my mood is concerned, I'm in an expectant one, looking always forward to the next day, week, month and year. Against the usual though, the next is coming faster and faster.

I'm currently 95 kilograms (209 pounds). Exercise this past week was particularly good--enjoyable too--and the goal for the 29th of July is around 92 kilograms (202 pounds). It's a maddening process, however, when I wake up everyday expectant, being mildly pleased or disappointed and then shaping my routine and diet throughout the day. I'm in a long term commitmant to reach 80 kilograms by the end of October, but I want to wake up and have it all gone, just gone. But I want it to be a permanent thing, so I force myself to take it slow, not starve myself, and exercise prudently.

Exercise yesterday was a treat. I went to the beach and helped out elementary students clean up trash. Afterwards we all went swimming and I spent about an hour and a half launching 3rd and 4th graders from my back and into the water. It's been years since I enjoyed swimming so much, almost like I was back playing in the lake with my brothers and cousins.

My walks are beginning to get into the hour and a half range themselves, and while this can be boring, the upcoming release of the next Potter book keeps me occupied. I've reread the third and fourth book and am currently on the fifth again (the fifth causes me to curse, mostly along the lines of "fucking bitch" every time Umbridge appears), so I have something to occupy my thoughts, whether it be rehashing plots in my head or putting together little moments I hadn't noticed previously. It will be good, if bitter-sweet, to finish the last book. J.K. Rowling, along with Robert Jordan, has tempered my desire never to start a long-ass series again unless it's finished already when I start. Rowling, however, comes off the better, since I don't precisely want Harry's saga to end, whereas I'd like Jordan to just finish already so I can move on with my life. Perhaps I shouldn't be so callous though, seeing as he's quite ill and there's a question if he'll even finish. The wheel weaves, I suppose.

But the ALT year, and my second year in Japan, is also at a close and I'll soon begin the last year countdown. Plans must be made. Living here for two years has made me miss theater terribly. I miss the drama and all that connotates: the practice, the performance, the squabbles, the egos. I want it back in my life. Terribly.

Before that happens, though...The exercise and weight loss is for a purpose, not just to look good naked. But you'll have to wait and see.