I've been back in Okinawa for three weeks. I'm torn though; in the next few days I'll either turn in the paper work to stay another year or go home come July. I don't know which to chose.

I miss home, certainly. Without question, friends and family are at the top of that list. I neglected visiting some people while I was on vacation--for which I blame Enterprise and their car rental policies--and it pains me to think that I might not see them for a year or more. Yukito, when asking whether or not I was re-contracting, mentioned if I'd be interested in staying for up to 5 years.

This stunned me. My motivation for not re-contracting results from a feeling of inferiority: I'm not good enough and I'm not making much of a difference. That I might be good enough to stay for a fourth and fifth year. It overwhelms me a little.

I will probably be staying. I don't think I'm ready to give up this life yet. But now I see an end, and begin to think what's waiting for me.